God-sized Hearts
How big is God’s love? How big is your love for His people and in His name? How big is your love for your neighbor? The overriding consideration as we deal with people is to be love, just as God’s overarching attitude is love. “God demonstrates his own love for us in that Christ died on our behalf while we were yet sinners!” His love couldn’t be any clearer or deeper. “As I have loved you, so you should love one another” (John 13:34). “If a person cannot love his brother, whom he can see, how can he say he loves God whom he cannot see: (I John 4:20).
Recently I have heard two young people share frustrations that came from how people treated them. In one case, Christian friends reacted negatively to questions and opinions that my young friend was sharing. In the second, sincere Christian people were suggesting that my young friend’s personality needed to change. In both cases, Christian people reacted negatively to fellow Christians who were doing nothing wrong. Neither person was sinning or expressing unbelief. Both are fairly strong, committed believers who are striving to live for Jesus.
Paul said, in Romans 12:2, “Don’t be conformed to this world.” This world and our natural, fallen instincts try to get people to be alike and to think alike. Now, of course, we are all to be holy as Christ is holy, but holiness does not require identical personalities or mind control. Holiness is living separate from this world’s values, from our own inclination to sin, and from the devil’s twisted purposes. Otherwise, we are free to be ourselves and use our gifts freely. We serve a big God who has a far greater scope of purpose than our systems of belief and custom can accommodate, but we still manage to think we figured it all out.
The longer I live and study the more I realize I don’t know and cannot understand. I do know this; it’s not my job to tell other people how to think or act. I may share Biblical guidelines and make suggestions that help people follow Jesus and become better disciples. Even then, it’s not my responsibility to disapprove if they don’t agree with me or act like I act. God has not given me the right to look down on a brother or sister, regardless of their age or situation, because they prefer to dress other than I do, talk differently than I do, or have ideas unlike mine.
A pastor friend of mine taught me, many years ago, to be “shock proof.” At the most extreme, he was suggesting that I be ready to hear surprising secrets from people, things that could be serious problems, and that, when someone confided in me, I be able to hear and respond without horror or dismay or disapproval, but only with love and forbearance. A person who believes they have the worst problem or the deepest, most terrible secret needs, more than anything, love and understanding, when they dare to reveal their fear to a caring friend. I have given much effort to becoming shock proof; I probably haven’t “heard it all,” but I have heard a lot.
Quite often, however, the revelations weren’t terrible. They were nothing more than the fears of ordinary folks who thought they had an extraordinary problem. My two young friends could be like that, although I don’t believe their situations go even that far. My point, though, is that we should be “shock proof” even in matters such as these. Being shock proof is being loving and kind regardless of what people do, what people say, what people ask, how people look, where people come from, what friends people have, and what mistakes people have made. No matter what we may think, we should be accepting and encouraging, not judgmental, dismissive, or condescending.
The good news is that is exactly how God sees us. If you doubt it, read a few of David’s Psalms. In them, he expresses his doubts, anger, frustration, and disappointment…with GOD! Yet David remained a “man after God’s own heart.” If God can be so tolerant and accepting, dare we do any less? If God’s holy heart is big enough to accept us when we were so very unworthy, then surely our hearts can be big enough to accept differences among us His children.